Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
