the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
