real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize