id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't deserve a penis
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
