Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
