Do vagina's smell?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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