i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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