So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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