I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
