We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
