i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
