His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
