I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
