I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
