chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
