I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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