so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
