nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
