I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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