Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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