I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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