Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, beer. Big fan.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
