Please, let me fuck your mom
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
