Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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