just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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