Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
