xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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