I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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