It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
