I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
