I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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