do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
