Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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