just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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