His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
