Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
