Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
