im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
