shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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