i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
