I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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