Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
