370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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