And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
