I am midnight drunk by noon
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
