Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
