Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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