And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
