Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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