ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
