Duck Duck Cougar?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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