I'm drive I can fine osifer
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
