i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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