I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
