I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
