I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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