morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also, beer. Big fan.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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